Growing Older and Somewhat Wiser

Oh yeah, I feel myself getting old. I can no longer run and keep up with my kids. It's all good, though, since the little ones seem to think I make a pretty good jungle-gym (well, it's all good until they yank a big handful of my hair out as they climb on me).

Things I have learned over the years, having a herd of kids running around here:

1. Never let your guard down. They are watching and waiting for you to turn your back so they can crayon/marker/finger paint the walls.
2. Never leave anything valuable (especially something of sentimental value) in a place you think is remotely safe from little hands. It is not. The only safe place is Fort Knox. If you have no access to that, you might just as well hand it over to them right now or throw it in the trash and skip the middle-man.
3. No amount of money you spend on a toy is ever worth the joy a child gets out of playing with the box the toy came in. Save your money and go to the store and get boxes for free.
4. Always wear a bra if you are not willing to sacrifice a breast to the cause.
5. Always wear a ponytail or keep your hair cut short if you are not willing to sacrifice it to the cause.
6. Always keep your legs crossed if you are not willing to sacrifice THAT to the cause.
7. Always paint with semi-gloss and keep extra gallons around for those spots that just will not come off with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
   
8. Always keep extra Band-Aids on hand.
9. Be willing to share everything or be prepared for wails of extreme anguish when they see mommy using the foot spa, remote control, etc.
10. Never, EVER buy light-colored furniture, rugs, towels, or clothes. NEVER.
11. Wait to shampoo the rugs until your kids turn 18 and move out.
12. Always keep extra night light bulbs on hand.
13. Always keep extra baby wipes on hand.
14. Always remember that Kool-Aid, Pop Tarts, and Popsicles should be kept hidden and doled out carefully as rewards when they are good and not as an everyday expectation.
    
15. Enjoy every minute while they are little because they just do not stay little long enough.