Another Day, Another Nickel

Or in this case, a couple more awards. Y'all know I haven't really been doing a spectacular job of paying attention lately, but a couple of really awesome ladies dropped off some really awesome stuff for me and it's high time I acknowledged it. It means a lot to me - more than I could ever tell you - how much your friendship means and that you're thinking of me (and still willing to come back and read the drivel I've been spewing lately) and wanting to share your goodies with me.

A couple of weeks back Becky set me up with this great award, the Colors of Friendship. In the spirit of "lifting" the paragraph that accompanies the award, here goes:

"I read their blogs because whether they are simply taking care of family or working to make others’ lives better, they do it with grace and dignity despite any roadblocks along the way."

Again, it means so much to me that you're here and that you know I've hit the biggest roadblock of my life but still trying to hang in there. The best part, though, is knowing I can count you as one of my friends. I'm doing my best to try to keep grace and dignity, but every once in a while that F-bomb strikes before I hit "publish" and I read and re-read it and think that even though it's not very dignified, it's what I'm feeling at that moment and it needs to stay. This blog is my catharsis, my journal, my bitch box, my place to share some of the crazy shit I get in the email or read or think or feel , and I think it's important to preserve my feelings in order to maintain the true spirit of why I'm here in the first place.

Another blog-sis, Diamond, has given me this next award and says to keep my head up, giving me yet another finger to count a great friend upon instead of closing it with the others into a fist and banging myself on the forehead in ASL's sign for "dumb". Thanks, girl. It's a picker-upper if I ever saw one and surely is appreciated.

I'm either too lazy or too preoccupied today (and for the next few months, apparently) to build a monster post listing all the great folks I'd love to share these with, but it's easy enough to identify them: They're each mentioned in the last round of awards and Friendship Roses (12/15/07, "It's Been A While" - no post pages so it won't link directly to the post, sorry), so feel free to just snatch them up, folks.

It's Been a While

But after all the moping I've done lately, it's time to show you how much it means that you've stuck by my side, so I have a small surprise for you. But first, a fairy tale. . .

Once upon a time, in a long-lost land that exists now only in legend, lived a young woman who had very strong beliefs and even stronger love for her fellow man. She had dreams of making small but significant changes that would help preserve the good she knew existed in the hearts of all people. Most of all, she loved children, her own and others that, while not of her body, were of her heart because they turned to her for love, kindness, and patience, which she gave to them unconditionally. One day the evil witch noticed that this woman was happy while the witch herself was miserable, even though each had chosen to live their lives as they had of their own accord, and she decided to destroy the woman. First she tried to seduce the woman's husband and steal him away so the woman would be alone. The witch did not really want the man's love for herself and, in fact, planned to cast him aside after she was done with him; she only wanted to damage the love between the two. Alas, love proved to be stronger and the witch failed. Then she attacked the woman's children, bribing them with favors and treats so they would come to her and leave their mother, even though she did not really want them; she only wanted to watch the woman suffer. Again the witch failed. Over time, she openly attacked the family, enraged that the harder she fought, the tighter their bond became. Still the family and their love persevered and the woman thought the witch would finally leave them alone, not realizing that the witch was so furious now that she would never stop until all the woman's hopes and dreams were shattered and her life ruined beyond repair. She singled out the "weakest" of the children, a girl of frail mind and weak moral constitution, damaged by the horrors she experienced in life before finding the young woman and her family, and the witch began manipulating the girl's mind. She worked and worked until finally the girl's mind cracked and she began telling horrific stories against the young woman and others in the family, and then all the children were taken away from the woman. She was not allowed to see them and steps were being taken to ensure she never would, not her own children and certainly not those who needed her the most.

How do you think this story ends? How do you think it SHOULD end? Could something like this happen in our society today?

Anyhow. Now for your "surprise." Some while back I gave Jo a Friendship Rose. Since then I've kind of neglected the roses and the garden's grown a little wild, so after some pruning and cutting, I have some new Roses I'd like to give to a few people:

Jo gets another (you know why)
Ev
Dawn
Count (yes, I'm giving a flower to a guy)
Mrs. Count
Becky
Vanessa
Paisley
DiamondsSaphire
You've given me more than I can say, and I am proud to consider you my friends.

Once again, the only "rule" is to pass this rose on (if you choose) to someone who's made a difference in your life, made you feel better just for a moment or for a day, someone who maybe needs a little boost. Sharing our friendships with each other will go a long way towards making this world a better place to be.

I Think I'm Ready Now

To pass along some of these cool blog awards I've gotten lately, instead of hogging them to myself as I've done (as you know, lately I've had other "more pressing issues" that kind of take the largest part of my will and concentration to survive from day to day, so I know you don't really mind - hope you're as glad I'm still around as I am that YOU'RE still around. . . but I digress, as usual).

First of all, thank you again to DiamondsSaphire for appreciating my ability to let the mental diarrhea flow and bestowing upon me this really cool "You Make Me Smile Award," created by Bridget at And Miles To Go Before We Sleep. You made ME smile just by giving me this, much like you make me smile when I read some of the stuff you post about that makes me realize I AM NOT ALONE in this crazy world and I'm not the only one who feels the way I feel sometimes.

I am proud to pass this funky four-leafed clover on to my good buddies:

Ev - My Life Is Murphy's Law
Dawn - Twisted Sister
Jo - Life with Heathens
Becky - Tall Cool Drink of Water
Count - The Blog and Mrs. Count - SoHoS
Dazd - Dazed and Confused From Here

Keep up the great work and keep the stuff a-comin!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Next up, I was just pleased as punch to get this rippin' Be The Blog award from Dawn of Twisted Sister fame, created by Mark from Me and My Drum ". . . for bloggers who make their blog their own, stay with it, interact with their readers, and have fun!"

Please go visit Mark (should you choose to accept) and pick up the code for your own cool badge, which comes in a variety of colors:

Vanessa - Vanessa: Unplugged!
Shannon - Charming Driver
Dazd - Dazed and Confused From Here
Karly - Wiping up Snot (isn't that the greatest blog name? LOL)
Becky - Tall Cool Drink of Water
Count - The Blog and Mrs. Count - SoHoS (can you tell I really like these folks?)
Diesel at Mattress Police (even though his Nazgul friend will probably poke fun about it)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And finally, I recently received another award from Ev at My Life Is Murphy's Law: The I'm a Little Nutty Award, designed by Kimberly of PurpleFrogCat .

Thanks, Ev! I always thought I was A LOT nutty, and it's great to get some reassurance that someone thinks I'm only A LITTLE nutty! I know I'm showing partiality and favoritism here passing this one on to many of the same people as above, but they make me smile BECAUSE they're a little nutty and, besides, IT'S MY BLO-OG AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT TO, DO WHAT I WANT TO. YOU'D DO IT TO IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU! Anyhow, I proudly pass this award on to the best bunch of "nuts" I've ever known:

Dawn at Twisted Sister (even though she already has one)
Jo at Life with Heathens
Becky at Tall Cool Drink of Water
Dazd at Dazed and Confused (who has also received this - are you seeing a theme here, Dazd?)

Karly at Wiping up Snot
DiamondsSaphire at Nonsense. . .

Of course, I still think you should just go read everything by everyone on my blogroll because I said so, and I'm the boss (again, for a couple more weeks anyhow), but it's nice to be able to give a little recognition once in a while. If any of you choose not to participate, that's also fine, I certainly won't be offended, but I just wanted you to know that I know you're there, and I'm watching you (not literally, just from my Google Reader). Thank you all again and HAVE A NICE DAY!

I Need to Pay Attention

I'm so broke, I can't even afford to pay attention. Just kidding. Anyhow. . .

A long, long, long, long, long time ago (in blog-time), I got 2 new awards from two of my favorite blog-sisters, and it's long past time to acknowledge them so they don't think I'm, like, retarded or ungrateful. I truly AM grateful, ladies, just having issues (as I know you know, so I won't whine about them at this particular moment).

Thank you so much to DiamondsSaphire for this great "Make Me Smile" award, created by Bridget at "...And miles we go before we sleep..."

Thanks, luv. Glad you got some smiles, and I'm working on trying to bring the smiles back to my little spot under the sun here at Blogger.




Next, Dawn has given me this other totally cool "Be The Blog" award, created by Mark from Me and My Drum:

I don't have to try very hard to be ME, easiest thing in the world in fact. Sometimes people think I'm funny, sometimes they think I'm just too blunt and in-your-face, but I don't really give 2 cents--that's just how I am and how I have to be to stay true to myself. If someone else along the way happens to get a chuckle out of some of the crap that comes out of my mouth (or on my blog), then it's just gravy, welcome aboard, the more the merrier. I hope that's true to the spirit of this award.

Running short on time here and feeling a bit mortified that I don't have time to share these right this moment, but I know you'll understand. I'll be back later to pass them on. I think I'll hoard them for a bit longer. For now I just wanted the gals to know that I hadn't forgotten, wasn't trying to snub the honors they've given me, but more to come.

Swamped, Sorry

Too much work, too little time, I’ll post tomorrow. Till then visit Count. Nah, I'm just kidding. I do have too much work and too little time, but I can't guarantee I'll post tomorrow so I had better do it today. Seriously, you really should go visit Count and Mrs. Count when you have a chance, though. You should also visit some of the other awesome blogs I like to read, easily found in my sidebar pull-down menus.

Did you ever get that as a kid? I'd ask my mom something and she'd tell me to ask my dad. I'd ask my dad, and he'd tell me to ask my mom. It was a vicious circle. I was smart enough to figure out to stop asking them stuff since I already knew the answer they'd give me and have always hated repeating myself and/or wasting my breath. I stuck my face in books to find the answers I wanted. I know not everyone loves to read, though, so I don't mind answering questions. My philosophy is, the only dumb questions are the ones you don't ask. Go ahead and ask me anything; if I don't know the answer, I'll make one up for you.

Anyhow, I'm soooooo delinquent on some stuff here, so let's try to clear some up now while I'm just sitting here, unable to sleep and unable to concentrate to work or even read a good book.

In order of oldest age (not cuz I think you're old, but because yours is the oldest tag I've neglected; you know I love ya, Ev, and not like that!):
Ev from My Life is Murphy's law tagged me with a 10 Things I Hate Meme:

1. Food I hate: OMG, I hate liver, too! It's just nasty in flavor and texture and has a rather disturbing appearance in its raw form, yet still surprisingly aesthetically disturbing in cooked form. Why is that?
2. Fruit I hate: I can't stand grapefruit. I'm such a banana. Oh, wait. . . I'm an iceberg. Whatever.
3. Veggie I hate: Lima beans. I was traumatized by lima beans as a child. Again, that flavor and texture thing. And the trauma.
   
4. Celebrities/People I hate: I can't say I hate anyone in particular, but I sure am sickened by some of the things people do.
5. Event/Situation/Incident that I hate: The loss of much of the use the right side of my body. I'm right handed and it's a bitch trying to learn to do things left handed. I'm too damn old to learn new tricks.
6. TV shows/movies that I hate: Ummmm. . . I don't really know. I rarely get very far into any program or movie before I become unconscious, so I don't know what I hate or what I love. Neiner, neiner neiner!
   
7. Music I hate: Music with derogatory/hateful lyrics.
8. Household chores that I hate: Much like Ev, NOT MY DEPARTMENT. I bring home the bacon, I don't cook it and I sure as hell don't clean up after it's cooked. That's my "wife's" job (yeah, *snicker* my wife. Go ahead and call him that like I do and see how many finger gestures NOT related to American Sign Language you get! ROFL)
9. Things that you hate around the world: "The world" consists of me and what is mine (yes, that includes YOU, my readers) and I don't hate anything about what belongs to me other than my traitorous central nervous system.
10. Things that you hate about yourself: "Nothing. I’m perfect." *DOUBLE SNORT* Yeah, I'm perfect, too. Inside, where it counts. Other than that, please see above.

Thanks, Ev, this was fun! Now, if you liked this meme, consider yourself tagged.

NEXT UP is my blog-sis Diamond over at Nonsense, Tears. . . , who has tagged me with the Seven P's of Me: WVb A blog about everything and more created this meme called the 7 P's in an effort to learn more about the blogs they read on a regular basis.

• Passion: My children
  
• Purpose: Changing things for the better when I am able and accepting those that I cannot
  
• Pursuit: (Passion + Purpose = Pursuit)
  
• Position: Society's going down the shitter, so someone better either flush or grab a plunger
  
• Pummeling: Abuse of the government by the government for the government
• Progress: Two steps forward and three steps back; at this rate, I should be in China by Easter 2008
  
• Personality: I'm just me, and if someone doesn't like it, TOUGH NOODLES
  

Thanks for the linky love, Jo. Right back at ya, hon. Yeah, we're too much alike. We even look alike, if I had blonde hair, green eyes, a different nose, a smaller mouth. . .

And last but certainly not least, I LOVE TWISTED SISTERS! OMG, thank you so, so much for this totally awesome Luv Badge. I love yours, too! I'm so addicted to it, I've gotta have it in my feed reader (along with all the other blogs above in this post - go ahead, READ THEM!) and several others. I can't tear myself up by choosing more blogs I love to pass this on to, so I award it to everyone I love.

I love that you love my blog. I love that you actually keep coming back for more of my psychological diarrhea. Now it's time for me to go feel all fuzzy and warm inside (a new experience for someone as crusty as me) from all the love y'all keep throwing my way.

It's kind of weird, glowing from something that doesn't involve a mental picture of my husband getting kicked in the nads by a pair of steel-toed boots.

It's My Pleasure

To finally share this great award with some of my fellow bloggers, schmoozers all, and all who help feed my blog addiction.

So without further ado, here we go:

Again, as stated from Twisted Sister:

“And what is the Power of Schmooze? It’s a blogging community involvement award for those bloggers who make the effort to connect and develop relationships in the blogosphere. Some leave great comments along the way, while others are faithful readers who’s presence you are aware of.”

I am happy to pass this on now to:

Becky at Tall Cool Drink of Water

Emily at Two Write Hands

Count at Count Ramblings

Sam at Temporarily Me

Diesel at Mattress Police (and no, you didn’t need to lobby for this one, Diesel, you earned it just cuz of who you are!)

Thanks so much to everyone, and feel free to proudly display your award:

Feeling the Love

Oh yeah, I’m feeling it all right. So much of it’s been sent my way lately that it’s given me a rather enlarged head, making it difficult not only to walk through doorways but to insert my cranium into medical scanning devices (ha ha, you thought I was going to say insert cranium into rectum, didn’t you? I got you!) after traumatizing my precious little lump of gray matter when whacking my head on said door jambs. I need to remodel the doorways now and I also need to invest in a cervical collar because my head’s gotten too big and my poor stick neck can’t support it anymore.

Anyhow, I am honored and extremely proud to have gotten another totally cool award from the completely awesome ladies of Twisted Sister, the Power of Schmooze Award. If you’re ever in need of some of the funniest stuff floating around the ether, go pay them a visit - You’ll never leave!

Just what exactly is SCHMOOZE, you ask?

“And what is the Power of Schmooze? It’s a blogging community involvement award for those bloggers who make the effort to connect and develop relationships in the blogosphere. Some leave great comments along the way, while others are faithful readers who’s presence you are aware of.”

Is this cool or what? On top of the pretty darned good day I had today, this was just the cherry on top. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So now I get to pass this great award on to 5 more well-deserving bloggers, but I’m going to have to come back just a wee bit later with it since I’m a little exhausted after the busy day we had. Stay tuned!

How Sweet It Is

I’ve been tagged for another meme by Diamondssaphire, and she’s asking for trouble since she seems to want to know more about me, I guess.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I didn’t realize I’d stopped. I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks lately, as everyone can probably tell by the tone of the posts here lately.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I used to, until the doctors started rubbing off on me and now my penmanship is as atrocious as theirs.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I guess you could say that: There’s a herd of them running around here.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Of course, because I am awesome.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? NEVER, EVER, EVER *snorts like Jo*

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Hell no.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Anything with sugar.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? The damn things are never tied to begin with, so no sense in bothering to try to untie them!

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Depends - physically, no; emotionally, I’m the Rock, baby. I gotta be with the constant barrage of bullshit I face on a daily basis.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Forehead lines AND a smile on the mouth as well as in the eyes. If someone has a wrinkly forehead but a mouth that is screaming (not literally but figuratively) anger and their eyes have no smile, it’s a pretty good bet they’re one of those glass-half-empty people, and they make me crazy.

RED OR PINK? Hell, I don’t know.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I’m an asshole and have a hard time keeping my mouth shut sometimes.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Mom, who passed away 1/1/06 - happy fucking New Year.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I’m barefoot, hoping that rubs off some of the myth of “barefoot and pregnant” onto my hormones and uterus, and gray maternity pants (I’m desperate, sorry. My biological clock is no longer ticking but thundering)

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? *gag* Subway

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The doctor on the other end of the dictation, and I just had to stop for a few minutes cuz he was confusing me

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow, to match my sunny disposition *rofl*

FAVORITE SMELLS? Lilacs and peonies

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My oldest son, I think. Might have been my dad. Could have been my sister. Who knows?

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? None.

HAIR COLOR[S]? Shit-brindle brown.

EYE COLOR? Dark brown.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.

FAVORITE FOOD? Oh, this is easy: Those lover-ly pastries made with phyllo dough and filled with Holland cream - don’t ask me what they’re called cuz I can eat one before the name is out and then I’m too busy having a sugar rush, all the while knowing the grease in the cream is clogging up a few more coronary arteries.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I wouldn’t know. I haven’t watched a movie in a long time that I was able to sit through without falling asleep 12 minutes into it

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? We watch Robots - ALL. THE. TIME.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Purple and gray

SUMMER OR WINTER? I don’t get to enjoy seasons anymore since I’m chained to a desk so I no longer have an opinion, but probably summer because I don’t have to stand outside freezing my tits off when I smoke a cigarette.

HUGS OR KISSES? I don’t really like to be touched, except by my DH and my kids of course, and baby butterfly kisses are the best.

FAVORITE DESSERT? See above.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I don’t have time for books anymore.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Nothing - it’s just a plain gray one.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I couldn’t say, since I fell asleep before the opening credits were finished.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]? My babies laughing.

ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES? Stones

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Some shit-hole in Wisconsin.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Patience for stupid people

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? I was born. . . in Saginaw, Michigan (just like Lefty’s song)

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Oh this is tough, but I’d have to say Ann and Dawn, two of my favorite Twisted Sisters!

Thinking AND Rockin

JUMPIN' G.W. ON A POGO STICK!

I'm multi-talented!

I make people "think," (thank you again, Christy), which can truly be considered a feat in this day and age, knowing how useless some of the walking, talking piles of feces on this planet are that are consuming good oxygen the rest of us could be putting to better use. I also "rock." I am just so proud of myself. After doing all that, working 100+ hours a week at 4 different jobs and juggling a house, a husband (who is a full-time job all unto himself), health issues, and SIX KIDS.....holy shit, am I ever tired.

Yes, this has a point. The point is, my notorious blogger-sis Jo (yes, I've adopted you, my dear) of Life With Heathens fame has given me yet another award I am proud to display:


The hardest part of handing these back out is not finding someone to pass them on to, it is narrowing the list down of who you want to give them to, since there are just too many to choose from. Makes my head hurt. I thought I was supposed to make YOU think, not the other way around.

Damn, there goes G.W. on his pogo stick again. Oh, look, I think I see Cheney's ass right behind him, taking pot shots at G.W. with a shotgun.

Anyhow. Back on track and quit being a flake, Angie. I now proudly pass this totally awesome HOT PINK award and also totally awesome PURDY BLUE award on to four well-deserving girls and one guy:


My other dear blogger-sis (yes, I've adopted you as well) Paisley from ......Why Paisley????? I just can't help myself. You NEED one of these flashy hot pink awards that just screams at everyone viewing your blog. I said so, and I am the boss and I am always right (really, I am).

Annie from One Thing I HATE About Today, who gives me a dose of my own favorite kind of medicine and who's photos have inspired me to buy my very first digital camera 4 days ago so I can capture candid moments of my neighbors running around half naked, shoveling dirt piles, while the neighbors stare in horror.

Mothergoosemouse, who won my heart the instant I found out she hated bras as much as I do. Yeah. Don't bother buying them, hon, just throw them all away. I did.

Diamondssaphire of Nonsense, Fun, Tears, Happiness, and Anger All Rolled into One cuz she's just as "independent and opinionated" as I am, and oh, how I love that trait in my fellow bloggers!

Darius from Diary of a Poor Black Man. He calls 'em as he sees 'em and I love him for it. He's not afraid to stir the turd so he's just like me, only he's, well, a GUY.

Thanks to all you folks, for not just entertaining me and/or keeping me pondering the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything (which is 42, if you didn't know), but especially for not letting me feel sorry for myself since I just don't have time for that and need a clone or twelve to keep up with reading all your great stuff. And one to do the work. I'm getting a little tired of that, too. I would also like to have one to deal with DH when he's busy being A MAN.

A Rose For You

I was recently bestowed the Thinking Blogger Award, and in trying to try to live up to what "I" feel this means, I am going to try to move onward and upward in what I spend my time thinking about and, in turn, stick out here for you to read.

I get tired of seeing the cruddy things people do to each other in this world but have come to grips with the fact that a Band-Aid and a mommy kiss will not make it better. Something I would love to change, even just a little bit, is people going out of their way to belittle others in an attempt to glorify themselves, stepping on an entire range of human emotions along the way. This is my attempt at a Band-Aid for the soul. Much of what goes on in the world makes no sense, but until each of us steps up and touches someone else's life in a profound and meaningful way, things will never get better. It does not take an act like moving a mountain: A kind word or a smile can have the power to change the course of someone's day and maybe even their life.

I have always been one of those loner types, few friends but the ones I did have were special. Some attribute this to being a trait of a true Scorpio and this could very well be true, but I think it is mostly a self-preservation instinct: Being burned and learning to fear the fire. Growing "older" now, I see that the types of friendships I have now have evolved and the quality has improved as well, even though the quantity is still small. I guess that is one of the benefits of getting older: We learn to choose wisely. So, in honor of new friendships, I am creating my own "award" and giving it to those I've encountered out here in the world-wide network, who have made even a small dent in this armor I carry around:

Thank You For Being My Friend, This Rose is for You

My first rose goes to Jo. You give me smiles and make me proud to consider you my friend.

The only "rule" is to pass this rose on to someone who has made a difference in your life, made you feel better just for a moment or for a day, someone who maybe needs a little boost. Sharing our friendships with each other will go a long way towards making this world a better place to be.

Here You Go, Jo

There. It's done. "Another Damn Meme": I hope you're getting all this down, Miss Thang! ROFLMAO (please see post below)

Instructions: Remove the blog from the top, move all blogs up one, add yourself to the bottom.

Sleepless in Cologne, Spaghetti Harvest, The Mommy's Getaway Blog, Life with Heathens, What Floats My Boat

What were you doing 10 years ago? (5 Things)

1. Huh? Ten years ago? I hardly remember TEN DAYS ago, and you want me to remember TEN YEARS ago? Are you completely off your rocker?
2. *Blank stare*
3. *Another blank stare*
4. *Eyes rolling to the back of my head*
5. *Saliva dripping from the corner of my mouth*

What were you doing 1 year ago? (5 Things)

1. I was able to walk, play with my kids, and move from the bed to the chair to do my job with no difficulty.
2. Drinking A LOT of Mountain Dew. Oh, wait, I was doing THAT ten years ago, too!
3. Trying to quit smoking.
4. Working, working, working.
5. Telling my uterus to shut up for a little while and leave me alone since it had only been a year since it squeezed out a boy and two years since it squeezed out a girl (it tells me it wants to squeeze out another girl next).

Five Snacks You Enjoy:

1. Mountain Dew (lots of it)
2. Fudge (only my own fudge, which my grandma taught me to make - don't you wish you had some?)
3. Cheez-Its
4. String cheese sticks
5. Pickled bologna

Five Songs That You Know The Lyrics To:

1. Take On Me by a-ha
2. Broken Wings by Mister Mister
3. Spongebob Squarepants theme song

That's pretty much it. I love music but mostly listen to stuff with no words, like Tchaikovsky or Mozart.

Five Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire:
Give it away.

Five Bad Habits:

1. What bad habits? I am perfect so I have none!
2. Yelling at everyone for taking my remote.
3. Running my big mouth, even when I know it's going to cause me trouble.
4. "Playing" on the computer when I should be working.
5. Not shaving my legs until I need a Brush Hog to do the job.

Five Things You Like To Do:

1. Read, read, and read some more.
2. Make fudge (cooking in general, but specifically making fudge).
3. Run my big mouth, even when I know it's going to cause me trouble.
4. Braid the hair on my legs (not really, but it sounded good, right?).
5. Do stuff with my kids, even if it's just veggin on the couch watching a movie (or more likely Spongebob).

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:

1. A bra. I've been sneaking them in the trash can for years and hubby can't figure out where they have all gone, and he gets freaked out every time he sees my gazongas swinging about if I need to go out of the house but I don't give a shit - Thank goodness I don't go out in public much!
2. Shoes (except when forced to, stinkin' stores and restaurants and their silly rules).
3. A swimming suit of any kind. Being mostly naked would be dangerous to the entire neighborhood, including anyone driving by, what with my skin blinding everyone. I might cause an accident and would have to live with that trauma for the rest of my life.
4. A paper gown at the OB/GYN office. I'd rather sit there buck naked than wear a Kleenex, which is just not big enough to cover my fat ass and looks completely ridiculous. I have no modesty anymore (I've given birth 4 times, there is no modesty after that) so running around naked doesn’t shame me, and maybe if I blind the doctor he'll be too busy thinking about that to send me a bill.
5. Blue jeans that I have to lie down on the bed and suck it up to zip. If they don’t go on over my hips, they don't go on at all and I'll wear scrub pants.

Five Favorite Toys:

1. My new KVM switch with audio. It's the next best thing since sliced bread and made my life so much easier. I was totally geeked when I hooked it up and started using it.
2. My chair. It has heat AND vibration. Ooooooooooooo.
3. My office air conditioner. I am stuck in a 7 x 13-foot room all day every day, in a basement, with no windows, and this bad boy made my day. It's portable so no need for a window!
4. My Bonneville, even though I don't drive much anymore. It's got wicked-awesome seat controls, dontcha know.
5. My hubby. *evil grin*

Five Things You Hate To Do:

1. Wear shoes.
2. Poop in a public restroom.
3. Listen to people who tell me I "can't" do something.
4. Suppress my opinions. They're mine and I have a right to them, even if they are a little weird. I'm not a frigging sheep.
5. Explain to people why I think it's more important to do silly things like pay the rent or buy groceries instead of using my money to buy a set of dentures.

OK, now I'd love to send this thing on it's merry way to some of my blogger sisters:
Evie (Sprite) of Homespun Honolulu
Kim (Domestic Slackstress) of 8 Centimeters Deluded
Bonnie Wabbit of Inspirational Awareness
Becky at Tall Cool Drink of Water
Katie at Katie's Crazy Ride

All just cuz I love their sites and think you will, too.

OHHHH, My Achin' Brain

That goes with my achin' ass from sitting in this chair all the time. Maybe if I stuff my head up my ass it would only hurt half as much? Knowing me, I would just pull a muscle and hurt somewhere else, too. And just imagine THAT emergency room visit, doctor trying to extricate my head from my ass. I know doctors pull some interesting things from people's asses, but I truly believe this feat would make a medical journal somewhere. Just don't bring out the Jaws of Life.

* * * * *

I no sooner finished expending great gobs of brain juice trying to come up with some witty stuff to tell you about myself for the 8 Random Facts Meme I was tagged with by Dawn at Twisted Sister, took a deep breath and started drinking liters of Mountain Dew to generate some more brain juice, and was tagged again (out of revenge) by Jo at Life With Heathens for "Another Damn Meme." Thanks, Jo. Now we know who the REAL heathen is in your family!!!!!

Sister, you're gonna have to give me some time to regroup the troops. The pressure is just too much! I have to think of creative and interesting things to say so y'all don't think I'm boring (like my boys tell me routinely) and on top of all that, y'all want stuff to "make you think." This takes work, people! Let me down a couple more 2-liter bottles of Dew and I'll be ready (should take me about 18 hours - ha ha - I'm with you, Jo, I drink way too much of this junk).

Seriously, though. It's funny how I got into this to have a place to sit and spew when I was bent out of shape about something (hence "bitchbox"), but I never really expected anyone to READ it, let alone leave me wonderful comments like you do and tag me like you have, actually wanting to know MORE about me. It makes me feel all gooey and stuff. Almost BUT NOT QUITE gooey enough to share my grandma's fudge recipe with y'all. Butter me up a little more, and I might let it leak one of these days, even though it's probably safer for the blogosphere if it never hits the ether, since we'll then all be making fudge and weighing about 600 pounds and not blogging because of it's chocolaty, creamy, yummy goodness! There's half a plate left in the fridge (from the 4 I made) and I might just have to go have some now. . . Wait a minute, let me call Richard Simmons first and see if he can talk me down.

Just What Exactly Were You Thinking

When reading my blog, or would we be safer not to know?

Imagine my surprise (and admittedly pride) at being tagged by Christy over at Christy's Coffee Break for the Thinking Blogger Award! It does my heart (and ego) good to know that in between occasional creative velocities and miscellaneous rantings and ramblings about sometimes off-the-wall stuff, I made someone think! Thank you so much, Christy!

In turn, I would like to follow by tagging some really great writers from some really great blogs:

• Shannon at Charming Bitch
  
• Phil at Thought Sparks
  
• Karen at A Deaf Mom Shares Her World
• "Forty-Two" at A Weapon of Mass Disturbance
  
• Crime, Interrupted
  

These are the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think;
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the "Thinking Blogger Award" with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Congratulations!

HIT AND RUN!!!!

Yup, I have been hit and run, and now I get to do the same!

I have been tagged by Insanity Suits Me at Twisted Sister in the Eight Random Facts Meme.

The rules to play:

1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Now, to be perfectly honest, there is just not that much interesting about me to fill up 8 whole random facts. I am really kind of a bore - just ask my teenage boys! I will do my best, though, so here goes:

1. I used to be painfully shy as a youngster--so shy, in fact, that I would cry when directly addressed. I got over that quickly when the varsity football team nick-named me "Tits." THEY got over that just as quickly when I started weightlifting with them. :)
2. I grew up on a farm and used to help milk the cows and bale the hay (which explains the above).
3. I have wet dreams about John Cusack. Hubby already knows he's hittin' the curb the day John knocks on the front door (but hubby just cackles when I tell him this).
4. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter and 2 step-daughters but my uterus is screaming at me that it wants to squeeze out at least 4 more.
5. My husband, youngest son, and one of my step-daughters are deaf and we use sign language to communicate. They use ASL but I pidgin, and they don't care.
6. I work about 100+ hours a week as a medical transcriptionist but have a deep-seated desire to be a full-time mommy to my herd.
7. I live in the middle o' the mitten but someday want to move to Marquette on Lake Superior so I can freeze my tits (and maybe some of my over-sized ass) off in the winter time.
8. I am totally a cat person. I tolerate dogs but can't stand when they lick. I have to wash my hands until my fingerprints come off when a dog licks me. A cat can lick me and it doesn't bug me, though. They don't slobber.

And now for the final drum roll, it is my distinct pleasure to torture. . . I mean, tag:

Christy at Christy's Coffee Break

Jo at Life With Heathens

Ev at My Life is Murphy's Law

Jenny at Flawed and Disorderly

Karly at Wiping Up Snot

Paisley at Why Paisley???

Em at Two Write Hands

Diamondssaphire at Nonsense, Fun, Tears, Happiness and Anger all Rolled Into One!