No iPhones Here

My cell phone is “old.” I know this because my son told me so. Old and BIG. Not, like, 1980’s cement block in your purse kind of big, but still pretty big. It has been one of my best friends for a couple years now, and it is probably a comfort kind of thing - something you just cannot bear to part with like a favorite old holey T-shirt or pair of broken-in slippers. It has been dropped, stepped on, and kicked across the floor like “the heart” on Chicago Hope; Mountain Dew spilled on it so many times I lost track; stolen by one or both of the babies and opened and closed so many times that the display no longer works right. It does not always ring, and sometimes I miss calls. Now, it is giving off a suspicious noise that could very well be a death rattle. I guess it is time for another trip to the Alltel “emergency room,” so they can roll their eyes at me because I refuse to sign a Do Not Resuscitate order on my poor Toshiba. I simply CANNOT get a new one, though. This one is like an extension of my own arm, and I will use it until the day it dies and the guys at Alltel just cannot bring it back from the brink. I have no clue what I would do without it.

My first cell phone was an analog phone from Verizon that I had for years and they neglected to tell me would no longer function when they switched to their digital network, even after about 40 calls to customer service over 3 months’ time because it would not work, 4 trips to the Verizon repair center, and, of course, continued billing for service during that 3 months that I was unable to use it.

My reluctance for change might be due to the fact I am too damn picky. BUT. . . I happen to be a firm believer in getting what I pay for, and I am pretty damn picky now after my Verizon experiences. I live so remote from civilization far out in the boonies that they have to pump our air and sunlight out here, let alone luxuries like cell phone service (we do not even have cable, for pity sake), and any phone I get has to have an extendible antenna or it will not get service. Another “minor” fact Verizon neglected to tell me when I got a new phone and it still failed to work, even though it was digital; so after 4 days I told them to shove their phone and their service up their donkey-hole. I went across the street to the Alltel store then stood on the sidewalk outside Verizon after my Alltel purchase dancing a jig, laughing and pointing. That was almost 5 years ago and they still keep sending me a bill.

It’s all good though.