Gonna Get You One Way Or Another

I have been the ultimate bitch busting my ass for the past few years working to get everyone to shut off lights, stop using the dryer and dishwasher so much, and turn off the TVs when not using them and/or only have on one TV at a time instead of four, and I thought my psychotic outbursts hard work paid off when the electric bill came down from over $300 a month to about $60 a month. Also contributing to this decreased use was my mom moving out and then passing away, who had been on not one but TWO home air/oxygen machines 24/7.

Then I get a letter from the all-powerful electric company telling me that I am not using enough electricity and they want to know why, asking if the house is vacant or a seasonal property or what was up. It’s none of their fucking business, I have a right to control certain issues in my life and how much electricity I use is my business, as long as I pay the bill, WHICH I DID, so I ignore the letter.

Bad move. Next, they come out to the house and rip the meter off my house because “it became apparent that it was not registering the electric you were using” and replace it with a new one and tell me I will get a new bill. As if by magic, suddenly I get an electric bill for - hang on to your hats, nut sacks, AND wallets, folks - $401.34, based on new meter usage of 46.3 kwh a day, adjusted for 3 months.

The TVs are still off, the dryer broke and hasn’t been used in 2 months and clothes are hanging on the lines outside, the dishwasher broke and went to the dump, and there’s nothing more than 40 watt bulbs in any single light socket in the house, so where the fuck did they get that number from? I think someone’s on crack. Run the numbers, it comes up to about $130 a month, which is more than double what it had been. I think that new meter is on steroids or something, the meter-reader is on crack, and the whole electric company is trying to bleed me dry just because I decided to try to take control of matters and stop handing over wads of cash to a utility service.

It’s Blondie, all over again:

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya’
I’m gonna get ya’, get ya’, get ya’, get ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya’
I’m gonna get ya’, get ya’ ,get ya’, get ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna see ya’
I’m gonna meet ya’, meet ya’, meet ya’, meet ya’
One day maybe next week, I’m gonna meet ya’
I’m gonna meet ya’, I’ll meet ya’
I will drive past your house and if the lights are all down
I’ll see who’s around
One way or another, I’m gonna find ya’
I’m gonna get ya’, get ya’, get ya’, get ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya’
I’ll get ya’, I’ll get ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna see ya’
I’m gonna meet ya’, meet ya’, meet ya’, meet ya’
One day maybe next week ,I’m gonna meet ya’
I’ll meet ya’ ah
And if the lights are all out I’ll follow your bus downtown
See who’s hangin’ out
One way or another, I’m gonna lose ya’
I’m gonna give you the slip
A slip of the lip or another I’m gonna lose ya’
I’m gonna trick ya’, I’ll trick ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna lose ya’
I’m gonna trick ya’, trick ya’, trick ya’, trick ya’
One way or another, I’m gonna lose ya’
I’m gonna give you the slip
I’ll walk down the mall, stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all, find out who ya’ call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout, some specials and rat food
Get lost in the crowd
One way or another I’m gonna get ya’
I’ll get ya’
I’ll get ya’, get ya’, get ya’, get ya’
Where I can see it all, find out who ya’ call