Giving Thanks

As I sit here wondering "Just what do I have to be thankful for?" I find my heart breaking and my mind cramping up, thinking too much on something that should come so easily.

I give thanks for being healthy. **KAANK--WRONG ANSWER** That, unfortunately, was taken away from me rather unceremoniously with a diagnosis of MS on top of pernicious anemia and a syringomyelia and myelomalacia of my cervical spinal cord after a long and (emotionally and physically) painful loss of much of my right-sided function. I am thankful that I am still breathing and able to use my mind to figure out new ways to adapt around my so-called "disability." I refuse to give up, refuse to give in, refuse to just lie down and die, and I am thankful for having a strong will to overcome. People like me are afflicted with diseases like this for a reason: We want to find a way to beat it, and we will.

I give thanks for being surrounded by my beautiful family. **KAANK--WRONG ANSWER** That was also taken away from me 72 days ago, quite traumatically and nearly causing the destruction of my soul. I am thankful for having had the experience in the first place, even for a short time, when so many do not. I am also thankful that I have my memories and a handful of pictures to keep those memories alive inside of me. As long as I remember, they are still with me even if they are not by my side, and someday we will be together again, without sorrow or sadness.

I give thanks for being wealthy. **KAANK--WRONG ANSWER** That one was just never in the cards and one I never really put much stock in anyway. Money isn't everything, and I'd give all that I had to have back the things in life that really DO matter. I am thankful that I have a job at all in the current economic climate, one that provides for what I need and an occasional what-I-want item as well as giving me a means to keep my mind sharp and keep me learning on a daily basis. Too many have no job at all or are stuck in one that they hate.

Don't get me wrong: There really ARE things in my life to be thankful for that come to mind very easily and don't stretch my already over-stretched soul to find. First and foremost, I am thankful for my Lord Father and Jesus Christ, rejoicing in my re-discovered faith and Love of God. It's unfortunate that it took a traumatic event to turn me back to The Way, but I guess that's just what it takes for some people. I share that peace and joy and love with YOU, another part of my life that I am thankful for, my friends who have been there for me when I needed you most. You may not know how much you've meant to me and I find words escaping me now (yeah, that happens to me occasionally, I do become speechless from time to time, hard to believe but true) but just know that this gal here DOES appreciate you and all that you've given me.

Thank you again, love and peace to all,
A.