How Many Times

Have I told you NOT to cut the fucking lettuce with a metal knife? There are 3 - COUNT THEM, THREE - fucking lettuce knives in the drawer because I hate when people use metal knives on produce.

I pull the salad out of the fridge and what do I find? BROWN LETTUCE. I guess it was too hard to reach for the white plastic thing with a sharp edge to cut the damn head up, instead grabbing that huge-ass butcher knife out of the block and giving me brown lettuce for dinner.

I have 4 words for you, dear husband:


And I ain't even on the rag this week. . .