Maple Syrup

Back in the day, when I was still a real person and not a quivering blob of flesh afraid of being attacked from all quarters, I was young and healthy and actually saw that big yellow thing in the sky that I hear tell is called "the sun." I grew up on a farm, outside all day working in the fields, and I had beautiful bronze skin that was frequently marred by that notorious farmer's tan: Noticeably darker on the tops of my arms and legs and across the bridge of my nose and cheeks. Then when I was 16 (fortunately before my senior photos were shot), I became ill with SOMETHING (no one still knows WTF it was) and my skin turned green. I looked like a fucking Martian or something. I was green and when my oldest son was born he was yellow from jaundice, so we were a rainbow-colored family. We both lost our respective odd colorings, the boy with treatment and myself with time. After that, I was just white. Painfully white. Glaringly dead-fish-belly white. This became known as my "moon tan." Now, I'm so frigging white that I'm worried soon I will be transparent, although that might end up being beneficial to my herd of doctors. I tell ya, I hated that farmer's tan when I was forced to live with it, but I'd give my left nut to have it back. Unfortunately, since I have no nuts at all, left or otherwise, I'm stuck with being white--I don't tan anymore since whatever it was that made me turn green.

Anyhow, I only mention this because I happened to notice today that my white is getting whiter and my veins look bluer and now I can actually see arteries, and it's really kind of freaky.

As for my staircase, I am finally ready to rip out the old ones and put in the new ones now that the bulk of the remodeling work that could have damaged them is done. I'm excited, too, because now that I'm a gimp, I'm reduced to exercising my "creative mind" and managed to come up with some real doozies for the new stairs going in. I can't wait to see my mental picture take shape in physical form. I remembered to take some "before" pictures this time.

Sad, when I've been reduced from being excited over my babies achieving their next developmental milestones and learning new words and skills to getting excited over some fucking stairs. My life sucks.

Oh, and I seem to have developed an aversion to maple syrup. Don't ask me where the hell THAT one came from.