Really Strange Stuff People Do

I am a medical transcriptionist. As such, I type all kinds of reports on all kinds of people, some of whom do some really weird shit to themselves. I type a lot of radiological reports, and quite often I type reports on little kids who swallow the notorious "foreign body" or stuff objects into orifices where stuff should not be stuffed. Now, I can understand little kids doing this: They're kids, and they don't really know any better; that's just what kids do and part of what keeps us on our toes as parents, when you see your 2-year-old walking around with peas stuck in his nose or pooping quarters, nickels, and dimes like a slot machine at the casino.

What has me stumped is when adults swallow something or stuff something where it obviously does not belong (get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about ears and noses; I've heard tales of people stuffing stuff THERE but never actually typed any reports about the alleged stuff stuffed there). Shouldn't an adult know better than to be poking stuff in their ears or nose or swallowing stuff they shouldn't? What on Earth would possess them to do this?

I love my job, though. It is never dull.

Once upon a time, a friend sent me an email, knowing I type these reports and that I am truly amazed (and bewildered) at some of the stuff people do to land up needing an x-ray, and this just made me laugh and laugh and laugh:

For those who truly do not know: This is fake. Contrary to popular belief, there is NOT really a "bone" in there. I was ONCE AGAIN amazed when describing this to co-workers (people in the medical field, mind you, transcribing the same shit day-in and day-out just like me) and one asked, "There's not really a bone in there? Why do they call it a 'boner'?"

After excusing myself to the restroom for about 10 minutes (where I burst into laughter so hard I was thankful I was where I was, or I might have pissed my pants), I came back and explained that while there is no bone, the structure of the penis that causes it to become erect, the corpus cavernosum, CAN become damaged when engorged with blood (this is what gives it the "bone-like" characteristic; guys, this is why you cannot think straight when you have a raging hard-on, all the blood has rushed from your brain into your peener). Explaining this to a grown woman who works in the medical field at a facility that does penile implant surgeries, a woman who has four children.... Oy. God love her, though.