Sick to Death of Those "Sick in the Head"

One of the things that irritates me the most, one that never fails to shock me and get me even more pissed off about the walking, talking piles of feces on this planet sucking up good oxygen the rest of us could put to better use, are dirt bags who commit a crime and, after being caught, have the famous "mental illness" claim to justify their actions in an attempt to escape punishment for what they have done. I am amazed this country can even function, considering the fact that so much of the population is "sick in the head" and, therefore, should not be held accountable for their actions.

There is a process to follow if you have committed a crime and do not want to be punished for it:

1. Immediately concoct a cover story blaming someone else, preferably a BHS (bushy haired stranger). If no BHS is available, blame the next readily available person (it does not matter, stranger or otherwise - your spouse will work in a pinch) then sue that person for irreparable harm to your character.
2. When the BHS cover is blown, immediately give a confession then change the story a minimum of 7 times to distort the facts. This will support your actions when you proceed to step 3.
3. When steps #1 and #2 fail or in any case you failed to implement them in a timely manner, immediately claim you suffer from mental illness and/or substance abuse, have been receiving treatment, and you DO NOT remember the incident. Most charges will be dismissed or lowered on completion of this step.
4. If steps #1 through #3 fail and you are convicted, sue agencies such as DHS or any others that may have been providing services to you because they did not provide you with appropriate or sufficient services. You may want to concurrently implement step #5 through #7.
5. Sue your physicians for not properly diagnosing and/or treating your mental illness and/or substance abuse.
6. Sue any companies that manufactured equipment/materials used in the commission of said crime because they were faulty (or you would not have been caught).
7. Have 18 family members ready to crow from the rooftops about your innocence even if you did commit said crime, because society failed you and you should not be punished for the failings of society. After all, you are entitled to your rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (while your victim has none).

Follow these simple steps and you will get away with committing any crime. Heck, if you are really good at it, you will reap benefits in addition to not being punished for committing the crime: You will not be held liable for any damages you caused, you will collect Social Security/Disability benefits because of your "mental illness," and someone might even throw money at you for your story, if it is juicy enough to draw TV or book ratings. There is even a bright side to being convicted: You will get 3 hots and a cot (at taxpayer expense), a book or movie deal to make money from your story, and a multitude of followers thinking you have done nothing wrong and rallying for your release, creating a legacy in which your name will be remembered for years to come.

All these people are doing is making a mockery of those who truly do suffer from mental illness, making their lives that much more miserable, making them appear as the butt of a really bad joke, and making treating them effectively nearly impossible.